Roots by the River

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Differences Between Men & Women, Part 5: Relationship Direction

Another difference between men and women is the view of the relationship itself. Man was not created for woman, but woman for man (1 Cor. 11:9). The husband’s attitude toward the wife is not the same as her attitude toward him, and it cannot and should not be. She was created for him. Her focus is on him. He was not created for her. The man’s focus is on the goal, and the woman comes in to aid him in that. She is not the focus; she is a support and helper for the focus. Courtship is done on the woman’s terms, where everything is relationship-centered. The man’s goal is to establish a marriage relationship with her, so for the time being their focuses are aligned. Then they get married, and the husband gets on with his life. Now he doesn’t want to sit and talk to her all the time. Courtship is an unreal world; we can’t live like that forever. That’s why romance novels are so popular; women are trying to live all of life in the courtship stage. Men are not built to be that way forever...

Elihu’s View of God

In Elihu’s final comments to Job in Job 37, there must have been a storm brewing. It must have been a great one like some many of us have experienced on the Great Plains. It is exciting reading. Elihu said, “At this my heart pounds and leaps from its place.” As soon as Elihu finished speaking, “the Lord answered Job out of the storm.” Elihu had a very good view of God. Because many of us have identified with Job, it might profit us to read Elihu’s comments in Job 32-37. This post coordinates with today's reading in the To the Word! Bible Reading Challenge . If you are not in a daily reading plan, please join us at TotheWord.com . We would love to have you reading with us.

Differences Between Men & Women, Part 4: Sexuality

Women are much more sexual than men. For men, sexuality is reduced to sex itself. The feminine conception of sex is the big picture, past when the kid graduates from college. The male conception is not the big picture at all. Civilization depends on the men submitting their sexual cycle to the woman’s. If women submitted their sexuality to the men’s, we would have a world full of nothing but pirates and biker gangs. Men must submit to their wives in this respect if there is to be any kind of stability at all. It is only when men submit this way that the family becomes possible. If the man removes himself, you no longer have a family the way God designed. Men who sleep around have a problem controlling their sexual desires. Women who are promiscuous are not in it for the sex; they are in it for the security, and they are using the only commodity they have that can get men to pay attention. Promiscuous women are lonely, frightened women. Promiscuous men have trouble with self-control. ...

Differences Between Men & Women, Part 3: Needs

Next, men and women have different needs . Women need to be affirmed regularly. They need repeated expressions of love. A man might be tempted to say, “I told you I loved you when we got married. Didn’t you think I meant it?” To a woman, the words “I love you” are not just information—they are food. And women need this food on a regular basis. Women also need communication, much more than men do, and what they often want to talk about is the relationship. “How are we doing?” Women need communication like men need sex. Women also need security. God created men to take responsibility; He created women to want to be protected and made secure. One of the reasons I was strongly attracted to Bessie was that she was so independent. She was the principal of a Bible school in Japan, and through a Japanese contractor she had designed and constructed a dormitory for women. She seemed very stable and self-reliant. I said, “That’s the kind of woman I want. I do not want ...

Differences Between Men & Women, Part 2: Talk

Men and women also talk differently. We are enough alike that we can communicate with each other—sometimes. After being married to my wife Bessie for more than fifty years, I still have difficulty understanding her. When Bessie uses a pronoun, the antecedent might have been given two weeks ago. And I sit there trying to figure out what this pronoun is referring to. Bessie uses lot of pronouns, but only one verb. It’s the word do in different forms. “Will you do the baby?” I have to figure out whether this means feed the baby, change the baby’s diaper, put the baby down for a nap, or give the baby a bath—all of these are communicated by do the baby . It helps if you have extrasensory perception! Occasionally, I’ll figure and figure and figure, and then I’ll guess wrong. This is not a fault in Bessie; it is just a difference in how we communicate. Men, have you ever asked your wife, “Is anything wrong?” and she says no, so you go merrily on your way…only to find yourself living in a ...

The Differences Between Men & Women: Finding Harmony in God’s Design

This is a multi-part series. Installments will be posted each Monday and Wednesday. Men and women are different, and their differences are not just physical. It is important to be aware of a few basic areas where the sexes differ from each other, as failure to recognize these can cause unnecessary problems in your marriage. First, men and women think differently. This is part of how God made us. Generally speaking (buckle up, because there are many generalizations coming in this paragraph), men think analytically, and women think intuitively, although sometimes women can do both. Women have multitrack minds and can juggle many issues at once. Women are more likely than men to think in circles, and consequently are more prone to anxiety. Women are also more likely to think emotionally rather than logically. The problem comes when men think that women are being illogical or not thinking right because they are thinking differently ; or when women assume that a man’s analytical thin...