Roots by the River

by Bessie Wilson If your husband is not a Christian, ask God to give you the kind of a Christian life that he won’t be able to resist. When I first met the woman in Monterey who had married the officer in India, she had just gone through a good spiritual experience with the Lord. She was a very perky English woman, and she told me in her pert way, “Bessie, I gave him tit for tat for many years! I was always after him for deceiving me that he was a Christian when he wasn’t.” She gave him an awful time. Then God spoke to her about the gentle and quiet spirit and submission to her husband. It was truly a very hard situation for her to be quiet in. “Do you know what? The Lord gave me grace to say to my husband, ‘May I go to church?’ He’d say, ‘No.’ And I could say, ‘Alright dear.’ There was no venom in what I said. Before I knew it, he was suggesting that I go.” After a while, we began to have Bible studies in her home. Her husband wouldn’t come to the study, but he’d come for refre...

by Bessie Wilson If you came to Christ after your marriage, there is hope for your spouse. There is a lot of hope. I have seen unbelieving spouses come to the Lord time and time again through living with a believer. When a woman comes to Christ after she is married, and she has a non-Christian husband, normally it isn’t long before she’s able to win him, because the change in her is so attractive. Quite a few years ago, following the cultural revolution in China, Chinese graduate students began to come to the U.S. to study. Jim and I got to know quite a few of them, and we held English classes for them in our home. After a while, they knew enough English that they didn’t come around anymore. A year or so later, one of these young men called Jim. He said, “My wife is just arrived from Shanghai. I’d like you to teach her English, but I want you to teach her English from the Bible.” We had not done this with the others. “Why from the Bible?” Jim asked him. “She’s a Christian,” h...

by Bessie Wilson “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God, as God has said, ‘I will live with them and walk among then, and I will be their God, and they will be My people. Therefore, come out from them and be separate,’ says the Lord. ‘Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and you will be My sons and daughters,’ says the Lord Almighty” (2 Cor. 6:14-18). Although this text is speaking of uniting with unbelievers in idolatry, it can logically be applied to the subject of marriage as well. Paul is quoting the Old Testament which prohibits yoking an ox with a donkey. Being unequally yoked like this does harm to both animals. Paul gives five ...

Love from a husband does not always need to end up in sex. If a wife is not up to it at a particular time, she may get suspicious any time her husband becomes affectionate. She may even become cynical about expressions of love. A wise husband needs to learn many ways to express love to his wife besides sex. Learn all kinds of giving ways to show love that go beyond saying, “I love you,” and giving her flowers and hugs and kisses (although those are very good ways to start, and you should certainly be doing all these things). Think of things you don’t do that you should start doing. I have learned over fifty years of marriage to pick up stuff that I didn’t pick up for years. My socks! Could be that. There were things around the house that I knew would get put away or taken care of by my wife, and I could ignore them and go on my merry way. She was healthy and had nothing else to do at home. She could do it! I don’t know why I ever even thought this way. Do you want to show love to y...

  Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1 Pet. 3:7 KJV)   Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. (1 Pet. 3:7 NIV) The word that the King James Version renders as “honor” is translated “respect” in the NIV. The key to the definition is in the context. “Husbands, in the same way… ” What way? 1 Peter 3:1 reads, “Wives, in the same way… ” What way? Look back at 1 Peter 2: “Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. But how is it to you...

When I got married, it never occurred to me that I didn’t love my wife as Christ loved the church. At the time, I was a naval officer, and I was in the Korean War. My first ship struck an underwater mine, and my second ship was hit by gunfire. I was willing to die for my country, or I wouldn’t have been there. I was also willing to die for my wife—and I assumed that meant I was obeying the command to love her as Christ loved the church. I figured Bessie had the harder job; she had to submit. It was easy for me to love Bessie, but hard for her to submit to me: she had been a Christian for sixteen years, I had been a Christian for only three; she was a Bible school graduate, I was a Naval Academy graduate; when we met, she was the principal of a Bible school in Yokohama, and I was a naval officer; and she was eight and a half years older than I was. After we were married, we came to the States for a while, and then I was sent to sea again. Our first two children were born in Californ...