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As Christ Loved the Church

When I got married, it never occurred to me that I didn’t love my wife as Christ loved the church. At the time, I was a naval officer, and I was in the Korean War. My first ship struck an underwater mine, and my second ship was hit by gunfire. I was willing to die for my country, or I wouldn’t have been there. I was also willing to die for my wife—and I assumed that meant I was obeying the command to love her as Christ loved the church. I figured Bessie had the harder job; she had to submit. It was easy for me to love Bessie, but hard for her to submit to me: she had been a Christian for sixteen years, I had been a Christian for only three; she was a Bible school graduate, I was a Naval Academy graduate; when we met, she was the principal of a Bible school in Yokohama, and I was a naval officer; and she was eight and a half years older than I was. After we were married, we came to the States for a while, and then I was sent to sea again. Our first two children were born in Californ...
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Biblical Love (Part 4): Loving the Unlovely

Loving the Unlovely “If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?” (Matt. 5:43-47). There is nothing particularly Christian about loving lovely people. To explain this, Jesus chose a class of people despised by the Jews ¾ tax collectors ¾ and said, “Even they love like that.” God created everyone, including the worst criminals, with this kind of friendship love. Only Christians can love the unlovely. This is how you show your Christianity. If you have only loved lovely people, you are being disobedient. Although this kind of love is central to Christian behavior, it only comes through obedience. Scriptural love is always volitional. You have to choose to do it. Do not wait to fall in love with your enemy. It will never happen. I became a Christian during my second year at the Naval Academy . Suddenly, I loved my roommate,...
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Biblical Love (Part 3): Christlike Love, Patient Love

Christlike Love   “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them” (Luke 6:32). Many Christians love those who love them and think that they are showing the love of Christ by doing that. However, that kind of love is part of human nature; it is common to everyone. There is a love that only Christians have. It comes from the Lord. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8). Jesus’ love for us had nothing to do with our love or our loveliness. It had to do with His loving nature and our need. When we share this kind of love with others, it cannot be based on their love or loveliness. Love is Patient “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (Eph. 5:1-2). To live a life of love, you must know what love is and how Jesus ex...
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Biblical Love (Part 2): Love Deeply, Discerning Love

Love Deeply “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Pet. 4:8).    Love does not overlook sin. Love sees sin, then covers it—in this case, covers lots of it. We know that God’s love is like this, but is ours? The command is directed towards us.   “You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea” (Micah 7:19). Deep love provides deep cover. Deep love keeps no record of wrongs (1 Cor. 13:5). It forgives others, regardless of the magnitude or quantity of sins. It banishes sins for good. It does not remember them so that it can bring them up later. However, we are not to cover our own sins: “ He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy” (Prov. 28:13). Discerning Love “We know that ‘We all possess knowledge.’ But knowledge puffs up while love builds up. Those who think they know somet...
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Biblical Love (Part 1)

God tells husbands to love their wives. How are we to do that, and what does that love look like? Love Her as Your Neighbor “Jesus replied: ‘“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: “Love your neighbor as yourself”’” (Matt. 22:37-39). “Yourself” is someone you already greatly love, and therefore is a good standard for how to love someone else. For a start, calculate how much time you spend thinking about yourself on an average day. Second, list all the things you do for yourself, including bathing, eating, sleeping, and studying. Third, admit that these things are expressions of love for yourself. Fourth, admit that you do not love your neighbor (even your best friend) this much. Fifth, admit that that is a violation of God’s command and needs His forgiveness. Turn to Him for forgiveness. This will not make you loving, but it will make you clean . From that posi...
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Authority, Responsibility, and the Chain of Submission

One of the good things I learned as an officer in the U.S. Navy was that authority and responsibility must go together in equal proportions. A person with authority but no responsibility will exercise that authority arbitrarily. He will order people around with no objective other than establishing his own power. Conversely, a person with responsibility for a task but no authority to help him accomplish it will only be frustrated. Before I apply this concept to Christian husbands, I want to discuss and hopefully dissolve a common misconception. Because the Scripture tells wives, children, and servants to obey, some Christians have inferred that it is the job of husbands, fathers, and masters to command . This is an inference only and is, therefore, invalid. The Bible contains no direct teaching nor implication that husbands, fathers, and masters are to be commanders. The Bible does not teach a chain of command. It teaches a chain of obedience and submission . The Bible teaches that s...
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Self-Love

“ But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves , lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people” (2 Timothy 3:1-5). A young woman told me once that she loved herself and that was a good thing. She did not like it for the Bible to have it listed as a bad thing. How can we tell it is a bad thing? The other words in the list from 2 Timothy are characteristics of loving yourself. They are subsets of loving yourself. Let’s look at them. Lovers of money – loving yourself Boastful – loving yourself Proud – loving yourself Abusive – certainly not loving your neighbor as yourself Disobedient to parents – loving ...
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