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Dear Friend: People Who Offend You

A few weeks ago, after your visit, you left a copy of a letter with me. Your letter must seem right to you, or you would not have sent it to them and given me a copy. Your major premise in the middle of paragraph one is not biblical. You assume, as do many, that the offender is the guilty party and the offended is the innocent party. We have no clue in the Bible that this assumption is correct.
Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. (Matt. 5:23-24)

If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. (Matt. 18:15)
The first text says that your brother has something against you. That is not saying that you have sinned. Reconciliation needs to happen, and you are the one to take the initiative. It looks as if the one who has something against you is the one who is in sin. In the second text, you again are the one to take the initiative. Because he has sinned against you, you are not allowed to be offended.

Later, in the same chapter, Jesus corrects Peter.
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” (Matt. 18:22)

This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart. (Matt. 18:35)
You must go to him with Matthew 18:22 and 35 in your heart. If you go to him offended, I will guarantee you will not win your brother over. You must go to him not offended. Giving offense might be sin. If the lying and the gossip about you is a result of Jesus in your life, great joy is the result, not taking offense. Taking offense is always sin. The lack of joy in you when you take offense should tell you that there is sin in your own life. "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you" (Matt. 5:11-12).

Your questions about the offenses are poor. They are rhetorical, subjective, political, and are worded to get an automatic agreement with you. If they are charges, they should not be questions, but statements of fact with times, dates, who said what, and with quotations and how it was unbiblical.

All reconciliation begins when one of the parties admits sin to God and to the other person. If it is necessary to bring up the other person’s sin, then Galatians 6:1 is to be put into effect along with Matthew 7:5.
Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. (Gal. 6:1)

You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. (Matt. 7:5)
It seems to me you have not recognized your own sin other than in generalities. You have been in a corrective mode. It is necessary to recognize specifically your own sins, confess, and forsake them before reconciliation can take place.

With love and respect,

Jim Wilson
Pastor/Evangelist

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