by Bessie Wilson
If your husband is not a Christian, ask God to give you the kind of a
Christian life that he won’t be able to resist.
When
I first met the woman in Monterey who had married the officer in India, she had
just gone through a good spiritual experience with the Lord. She was a very
perky English woman, and she told me in her pert way, “Bessie, I gave him tit
for tat for many years! I was always after him for deceiving me that he was a
Christian when he wasn’t.”
She
gave him an awful time. Then God spoke to her about the gentle and quiet spirit
and submission to her husband. It was truly a very hard situation for her to be
quiet in. “Do you know what? The Lord gave me grace to say to my husband, ‘May
I go to church?’ He’d say, ‘No.’ And I could say, ‘Alright dear.’ There was no
venom in what I said. Before I knew it, he was suggesting that I go.”
After
a while, we began to have Bible studies in her home. Her husband wouldn’t come
to the study, but he’d come for refreshments afterwards, and he would mingle
with the Christians. I believe that man trusted the Lord before his death. He
died in Europe on the Volga River, a sudden death as he was traveling. I’ve
often thought of how his wife said, “I was able to be sweet with the Lord’s
sweetness, and his attitude changed.”
Another
officer’s wife asked me one time what to do about her non-Christian husband.
She had been a non-Christian herself when she married him, and now that she had
been saved she found herself unequally yoked, but not through sin. Jim and I
suggested that she do everything in her power to obey his wishes. She did. This
was so new to him! Their relationship got better until he began to give her
privileges rather than denying her privileges. In the end, he came to Christ.
Whatever
your marriage is like, this is not a situation that cannot be redeemed. Ask God
to fill you with hope. “The God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in
believing, that you may abound in hope through the power of the Holy Ghost”
(Rom. 15:13).
Put
your house in order. Start by respecting your husband. I always get a blessing
out of hearing a talk reminding me that I’m to respect Jim. I had some strikes
against me at the beginning: I am older than him by eight and a half years, I
had been a Christian much longer, I had been in Christian work a long time, and
I knew the Bible better than he did. (On this last one, I was forced to come to
the conclusion that where I knew it, he obeyed it!)
My
respect for Jim was immediate. Whenever I met single missionaries in Japan, I
wasn’t above looking at them and thinking, “Is this maybe the one who’s going
to be for me, Lord?” I didn’t find a man I respected among the missionaries.
Then this naval officer came trooping in with a passion for the Lord and for
people to come to Christ, and he was the first Christian man who claimed my
respect.
Respecting
your husband is a vital part of victorious Christian living. It is the most
important thing you do in marriage. It is easy for us to look at our husbands
critically, to put their faults and failings under a microscope. Other people,
other women especially, can meet our husbands and say, “What a neat guy!
I’d like to have a relationship with him.” Do you know what men are subjected
to in the world today? In the business world, and in the university world, too,
there are many women who are out to seduce.
Look
at your husband the way others do. How does another woman see him? How does his
secretary see him? Of course, he might be putting his best foot forward out
there—but he’s probably getting some respect there, too.
Do
some brainstorming about how you can show respect to him. Take a look at how
you treat your husband, how you talk to him, and how you talk about
him. For example, if you have a sense of humor, sometimes you can do and say
things to your husband that aren’t respectful, not deliberately, but out of a
misplaced sense of fun. Your aim should be to respect him from the heart, to be
able to truly say, “I am privileged to be the wife of this man. Sure, he’s got
faults—but so do I. He does things that are stupid, but so do I.” Whether you
are in a happy marriage or an unequally yoked marriage, learn to respect him.
Respecting your husband is essential for victorious Christian living.
What
if he is not respectable? I was very astounded by something Jim showed me on
this some years ago. He asked me, “What does Ephesians say a man is to do to
his wife?”
“He’s
to love her.” I knew that answer! “He is to love me as Christ loved the
Church.”
“Where
does that love come from?” Jim asked.
“Well,
I should be fairly attractive to him. But also he should draw on the Lord’s
love for me.”
Then
Jim pointed out something very important. “The Scripture says a woman is to
respect her husband. A wife immediately objects, ‘What if he isn’t
respectable?!’ Well, what if a woman isn’t lovely? Does that clear her husband
of loving her?”
No, it doesn’t. He is to love her, unlovely as she might be. And we wives are to respect our husbands, even if they are not respectable. Treat a man like a dog, and he’s going to act like a dog. Treat him with courtesy, and you’ll be amazed at the results.
(To be continued on Wednesday.)
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