Skip to main content

A Suitable Companion

Dear Jim,

A couple weekends ago I picked up a talk by [another Christian speaker who] quotes Genesis 2:18. “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’” He related this verse to possible psychological implications that can affect those who live alone… I have lived alone for over one year, and I believe I have become more self-centered than I was [before. He] stated “it is important for people who live alone to have someone to talk to, like a dog or a cat.” That is true, and I would like to buy a dog as a companion.

My first question is this… Do you believe Genesis 2:18 refers to that man should have a companion to communicate with, whether animal or dog, or that man should have a woman (wife)? Secondly, does this verse apply to all men? Are all men required to have a companion?

Sincerely,

R.
Dear R.,

In Genesis 2:18, what it says is that it is not good for man to be alone, so “I will make a helper suitable for him.” It then says that (verse 20) no suitable helper was found—and I’m sure that included dogs. And that’s why He made a woman. Yes, God is primarily speaking of marriage. I know for older people (widows, widowers, and those in nursing homes), dogs and cats have been a great means of comfort to people who do not have their husbands or wives anymore.

I’m sure that if you talk to this speaker (in fact, you can talk to him when he is here in town), he would encourage you to get a dog. He would probably also encourage you to get a wife.

You asked if this verse applies to all men and if all men are required to have a companion. Jesus said no in Matthew 19, but it should be a very clear call to be alone. Being alone certainly is an exception to the rule. So if you’re going to be an exception, you should not be an exception by default. It should be an exception by calling that you know that God wants you to be alone. Otherwise, we can assume that God expects you to be married. The question is not whether we should be married but who and when we should be married. You don’t have to go chasing women, but you should be seeking the mind of God about who and when, unless you have a very clear call to be single.

One other comment about pets, specifically dogs. I know several people who are fonder of their dog than they are of their children—because the dog can be given minimum care, always responds in affection, even when it’s mistreated, where a child doesn’t always respond that way. It takes more real love to put into a person than it does to put into a dog. A person can be selfish with a dog and still get the love coming back. He can’t be selfish with a person and keep getting it back. I’m not anti-pets, I’m just saying it’s a danger to think that you have a real love for your dog when it may be just a real love for yourself.

In His love,

Jim

Comments

Dot milne said…
Re the letter from the man who has been alone "for one year". Your answer is Re men only. Re women, should they assume they should they also assume they should be married, if not having received a call to be single? Should this also refer to women aged 70+?

What about countries where many men have died in war, and there,s a surplus of women?

Popular posts from this blog

Getting Old

This is a post for those who are getting old or considering themselves old, from 65-100. Right now, I am 91.* I will be 92 in October. I have my own house, but I cannot live in it alone because of my physical inability to move around. One of my sons lives with me. All of us will have to make some adjustments. That includes money, relatives, your own ability and willpower to stay independent, etc. My advice is if physically and financially you can live independently, you should certainly do that. If you do, you will still need to have visits from your family frequently. You need your family. Even if you don’t need them to take care of you, you need them for the fellowship. The more fellowship you have, the longer you’ll live. If you can stay independent do it, but only if friends and relatives can see you often. In my case, I can’t walk, and I can’t do much physically. So, whether I like it or not, someone else has to get me up, get me showered, and get me dressed. I am blessed to have

Why Is Obedience So Hard?

There are several reasons why obedience seems hard. I will comment on some of them and then speak positively on how obedience is easy. We think: 1) Obedience is an infringement on freedom. Since we are free in Christ, and obedience is somehow contrary to that freedom, we conclude that obedience is not good. Yet we know it is good. Thus, we become confused about obedience and are not single-minded. 2) Obedience is works. We who have been justified by grace through faith are opposed to works; therefore, we are opposed to obedience. 3) We have tried to obey and have failed—frequently. Therefore, the only solution is to disobey and later confess to receive forgiveness. It is easier to be forgiven by grace than to obey by effort. 4) We confuse obedience to men with obedience to God. Although these are sometimes one and the same (see Romans 13, 1 Peter 2-3, Ephesians 5-6, Colossians 3, and Titus 2), sometimes they are not the same (see Colossians 2:20-23, Mark 7, 1 Timothy 4:1-5, a

Constant Victory

I came across the following poem (prayer) and devotional in Amy Carmichael's book Edges of His Ways :   Before the winds that blow do cease, Teach me to dwell within thy calm; Before the pain has passed in peace, Give me, my God, to sing a psalm. Let me not lose the chance to prove The fulness of enabling love. O Love of God, do this for me; Maintain a constant victory.   Before I leave the desert land For meadows of immortal flowers, Lead me where streams at thy command Flow by the borders of the hours, That when the thirsty come I may Show them the fountains in the way. O love of God, do this for me; Maintain a constant victory.   "This prayer was written for the ill, and for the tired. It is so easy to fail when not feeling fit. As I thought of them, I also remembered those who, thank God, are not ill and yet can be hard-pressed. Sometimes in the midst of the rush of things, it seems impossible to be victorious, always to be peaceful,