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Bitterness: A Different Kind of Pandemic

 


And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:30-32)

Although it is not a physical sickness, bitterness is probably the most debilitating disease there is. It saps the joy out of life like a parasite drains the blood from an otherwise healthy creature. Bitterness can also cause physical illness when it is kept in.

In order to help diagnose this disease, let me tell you some of its symptoms. First, bitter people normally use the word “bitter” either in defense or admission when the tender area is brought to their attention. They say, “I’m not bitter!” or “Of course I’m bitter!” People who are not bitter do not usually use the word.

Second, bitterness remembers details very well. You have had thousands of conversations, and most of them you have forgotten. But there is one conversation that took place years ago, and you remember every word with strong displeasure. Memories such as this are symptomatic of bitterness.

Third, bitterness is always accusatory, even if the accusation is never verbally expressed. It always focuses on someone else’s sin, whether that sin is real or imagined. Bitterness starts as resentment which is harbored rather than confessed (1 John 1:8-9). The resentment begins to turn rancid. It matures slowly, putting roots down into the mind and soul of its host until it finally takes over.

Fourth, bitterness is normally felt towards the people closest to you (your husband, wife, brother, sister, parents, roommate, or children). It is often the cause of other kinds of sin towards them, including gossip and murder.

The most insidious aspect of bitterness is its ability to disguise itself. It grows like a hidden cancer. The one who is bitter may not even be conscious of it. Like lying, stealing, and murder, bitterness is a sin which needs to be forgiven and which will be if it is confessed. The difficulty is in confessing a wrong that you think is somebody else’s. You must confess your bitterness as if you are the only one at fault. Bring it to the cross where the punishment for it was paid in full. If your bitterness comes back after confession, confess it again and again and again until it is gone for good. You will find the joy God promised restored.

For more on this topic, please read How to Be Freefrom Bitterness.

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