Dear Friend: Reconciling When They Don't Apologize

Dear D,

Thank you. Yes, reconciliation must be made (Matthew 5:23-24, Matthew 18:15-35, Matthew 6:12-15, Luke 17:3-4, Leviticus 6:1-5, Galatians 6:1).

What is absent from these texts is apology. What is present is forgiveness from the heart, even if there is no repentance or apology (seven times in one day and seventy-seven times). We make restitution if we are guilty. We do not demand restitution or apology if the other person is guilty. In Matthew 18:15, we show him his fault for his good, not for ours: "If your brother sins, go and point out his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won him over." In Galatians 6:1, we show him his fault to restore him: "Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted." I do not show him his fault because he sinned against me. If I did it that way, I would guarantee there would be no reconciliation. I would be accusing him, not forgiving him.

With love and respect,

Jim Wilson

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