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A Suitable Companion

Dear Jim,

A couple weekends ago I picked up a talk by [another Christian speaker who] quotes Genesis 2:18. “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’” He related this verse to possible psychological implications that can affect those who live alone… I have lived alone for over one year, and I believe I have become more self-centered than I was [before. He] stated “it is important for people who live alone to have someone to talk to, like a dog or a cat.” That is true, and I would like to buy a dog as a companion.

My first question is this… Do you believe Genesis 2:18 refers to that man should have a companion to communicate with, whether animal or dog, or that man should have a woman (wife)? Secondly, does this verse apply to all men? Are all men required to have a companion?

Sincerely,

R.
Dear R.,

In Genesis 2:18, what it says is that it is not good for man to be alone, so “I will make a helper suitable for him.” It then says that (verse 20) no suitable helper was found—and I’m sure that included dogs. And that’s why He made a woman. Yes, God is primarily speaking of marriage. I know for older people (widows, widowers, and those in nursing homes), dogs and cats have been a great means of comfort to people who do not have their husbands or wives anymore.

I’m sure that if you talk to this speaker (in fact, you can talk to him when he is here in town), he would encourage you to get a dog. He would probably also encourage you to get a wife.

You asked if this verse applies to all men and if all men are required to have a companion. Jesus said no in Matthew 19, but it should be a very clear call to be alone. Being alone certainly is an exception to the rule. So if you’re going to be an exception, you should not be an exception by default. It should be an exception by calling that you know that God wants you to be alone. Otherwise, we can assume that God expects you to be married. The question is not whether we should be married but who and when we should be married. You don’t have to go chasing women, but you should be seeking the mind of God about who and when, unless you have a very clear call to be single.

One other comment about pets, specifically dogs. I know several people who are fonder of their dog than they are of their children—because the dog can be given minimum care, always responds in affection, even when it’s mistreated, where a child doesn’t always respond that way. It takes more real love to put into a person than it does to put into a dog. A person can be selfish with a dog and still get the love coming back. He can’t be selfish with a person and keep getting it back. I’m not anti-pets, I’m just saying it’s a danger to think that you have a real love for your dog when it may be just a real love for yourself.

In His love,

Jim

Comments

Dot milne said…
Re the letter from the man who has been alone "for one year". Your answer is Re men only. Re women, should they assume they should they also assume they should be married, if not having received a call to be single? Should this also refer to women aged 70+?

What about countries where many men have died in war, and there,s a surplus of women?
5:40 AM
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