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Dear Friend: Getting Out From Your Parents' Religion

For the last several days you have been on my mind. You were born into a godly family. As a pastor's kid, you were under scrutiny by the congregation (or if not, you may have felt under scrutiny). It seems you have wanted to get out from under.

Over the years, I have found that most Christians have two different doctrines (some have three): the ones they were taught and the one they believe, their gut feeling. These may not be contradictory to each other, but they are almost always different. The third doctrine is the evangelical, cultural one which they are in. You are not in the third one at all.

Knowing your parents, I can guess, fairly accurately, what you were taught and learned about God and the gospel. Do your “gut” feelings agree with what you were taught, with the evangelical culture, or with neither of them? You may have already spent much time trying to figure this out.

What is your “gut” feeling about:

• the Father
• the Son
• the Holy Spirit
• the body of Christ
• the Evangelical Free Church
• individual believers, not including your family
• the world (all non-Christians as a group)
• Hell
• Heaven, grace, faith, the gospel, the Bible, works, etc.

Here is another exercise of definition. “The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires." (Gal 5:19-24).

The first list has some gross things in it and some things that do not seem so gross. The second list has all good things. These are not personality traits. These are gifts of the Spirit. They are unrelated to your personality, circumstances, and environment. In other words, it is normal to rejoice in bad circumstances.

Which list describes you the best? How long has it described you the best?

The five-chapter book of 1 John has many “either/or” statements on knowing that we know Him. Read 1 John every day for a week. Notice the word know all of the way through the book.

It is fairly easy to have caricatures of godly people--hypocrites, legalists, Bible know-it-alls. We all know people who fit these caricatures.

A few months ago, I was talking with an 18-year-old young man. I asked him if he wanted to be godly.

He answered, “If being godly is being like ‘so-and-so’, then no!”

"Suppose being godly has nothing to do with 'so-and-so.' Suppose it is God’s definition of godly. If it were possible to be godly by God’s definition, would you want to be?"

He said, “I'll have to think about that.”

The world is made up mostly of natural men, including the nominal Christians. Since they are the majority, they set the norm of society in dress, food, morals, etc.

Jesus prayed this for his followers: “I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified" (John 17:13-19).

Paul wrote to the Christians in Rome, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Rom. 12:1-2).

John wrote, “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world--the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does--comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever” (1 John 2:15-17).

If these questions and suggestions get your back up, that’s easy: pay no attention to them, or wait until you cool down and then pay attention to them.

May the Lord bless you greatly.

With warm affection,

Jim Wilson

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