More Life (Are You Afraid of Death?)

Are you fearful of death? Or ready for it? Or glad for it? Most people just ignore it, knowing it’s going to happen, but not now and not soon.

Sometimes we don’t have a choice. On September 26, 1950, when I was 22 years old, I was with the Navy in the Sea of Japan off the coast of Korea. The gunnery officer spotted some box cars on a railroad siding near the shore. The captain decided to close the range and destroy them with gunfire. We were at battle stations. My battle station was in the gunnery plotting room one deck below the main deck on the port side of the ship. I was the officer in charge of gunnery plot. I received a telephone call from my boss, the gunnery officer. He ordered me up to the main battery director above the bridge, where he was stationed with the range finder. I objected, because we were at general quarters (preparing for battle), and it is a court-martial offense to leave your battle station when the ship is at general quarters. He ordered me to come up anyway.

I left the chief petty officer in charge of gunnery plot and went up to see him. When I arrived, he had no idea why he had ordered me up there. I told him I would be back in gunnery plot, and he could give me another call if he remembered. He said, “You stay here.” So I stayed there with nothing to do.

While I was there, we struck an underwater mine on the port side, directly underneath my battle station. The explosion obliterated gunnery plot. The man I left in charge was killed. Only one man was pulled out alive. The rest of the men were killed instantly.

That evening, after we partly recovered from the explosion, the executive officer came to me. He said, “We are going to bury the chief petty officer at sea.” The other men who were killed could not be recovered from the damaged part of the ship until we reached port. He said, “Mr. Wilson, you’re the Christian on this ship. You will conduct the funeral.” I was only 22 years old. I was in charge of the funeral for the man who died in place of me. I have never forgotten that. At 22, I was very conscious of death.

The next ship I was on was hit by gunfire; one man was killed, and he was standing not far from me. That made me think of death. It also made me realize that I was not afraid. Many years later, I was reading the diary of the ship’s captain. He said, “Wilson is not afraid under fire.” Although I didn’t think about it much, I knew I wasn’t afraid, because I saw people who were, and they acted very differently. But I hadn’t realized other people could see it.

Many years later, I had quadruple-bypass heart surgery. I was not afraid to die then, either. I am now 91.*

My favorite passage of Scripture is Psalm 91. I can identify with it, including the last line, which speaks of long life.

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes
    and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,
no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.”

(Psalm 91)

God has given me long life. Being 91 years old, I am close to dying again. I am not fearful of it. It is a given. I am not anticipating it, either, so it will probably catch me by surprise. I want to say it again: I am not afraid to die. The reason for this is that since I came to know the Father through the Son when I was 20 years old, I have been sure of my salvation. To die just means more life.

*Written June 2019. Jim Wilson received his promotion to glory in 2022.

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