Roots by the River

  by Bessie Wilson Victorious Christian living means walking in obedience to God in all areas of our life. Obedience is something not many Christians are interested in. We dismiss the commands of Scripture with spiritual words and nuanced arguments of why we don’t need to obey a command that seems difficult, instead of simply asking, “How do I do this?” If we want to live a victorious life, we must be committed to obeying God with everything we are: physically, mentally, morally, socially, and spiritually. Physically. Physical obedience means recognizing God’s ownership of your body. This relates to your marriage as well. Are you withholding physically from your husband? What if it’s hard? You don’t love him anymore, or you’re tired, or you’re just not in the mood. “I can’t; not tonight.” I come up with the same excuses, and the Lord used a verse about the man with the withered hand to show me the way. One Sabbath, Jesus went into the synagogue, and there was a man with a with...

“Then those who feared the LORD talked with each other, and the LORD listened and heard. A scroll of remembrance was written in his presence concerning those who feared the LORD and honored his name” (Malachi 3:16). “We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. We write this to make our joy complete” (1 John 1:3-4). God listens to us talk about Him and has a special book of remembrance for us. Our fellowship with each other is also with the Father and the Son. Much of Christian “fellowship” is fun and food, and not much with or about the Father and Son. Our fellowship is with each other and with the Father and the Son. This post coordinates with today's reading in the To the Word! Bible Reading Challenge . If you are not in a daily reading plan, please join us at TotheWord.com . We would love to have you reading with us.

by Bessie Wilson If your husband is not a Christian, ask God to give you the kind of a Christian life that he won’t be able to resist. When I first met the woman in Monterey who had married the officer in India, she had just gone through a good spiritual experience with the Lord. She was a very perky English woman, and she told me in her pert way, “Bessie, I gave him tit for tat for many years! I was always after him for deceiving me that he was a Christian when he wasn’t.” She gave him an awful time. Then God spoke to her about the gentle and quiet spirit and submission to her husband. It was truly a very hard situation for her to be quiet in. “Do you know what? The Lord gave me grace to say to my husband, ‘May I go to church?’ He’d say, ‘No.’ And I could say, ‘Alright dear.’ There was no venom in what I said. Before I knew it, he was suggesting that I go.” After a while, we began to have Bible studies in her home. Her husband wouldn’t come to the study, but he’d come for refre...

by Bessie Wilson If you came to Christ after your marriage, there is hope for your spouse. There is a lot of hope. I have seen unbelieving spouses come to the Lord time and time again through living with a believer. When a woman comes to Christ after she is married, and she has a non-Christian husband, normally it isn’t long before she’s able to win him, because the change in her is so attractive. Quite a few years ago, following the cultural revolution in China, Chinese graduate students began to come to the U.S. to study. Jim and I got to know quite a few of them, and we held English classes for them in our home. After a while, they knew enough English that they didn’t come around anymore. A year or so later, one of these young men called Jim. He said, “My wife is just arrived from Shanghai. I’d like you to teach her English, but I want you to teach her English from the Bible.” We had not done this with the others. “Why from the Bible?” Jim asked him. “She’s a Christian,” h...

by Bessie Wilson “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God, as God has said, ‘I will live with them and walk among then, and I will be their God, and they will be My people. Therefore, come out from them and be separate,’ says the Lord. ‘Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and you will be My sons and daughters,’ says the Lord Almighty” (2 Cor. 6:14-18). Although this text is speaking of uniting with unbelievers in idolatry, it can logically be applied to the subject of marriage as well. Paul is quoting the Old Testament which prohibits yoking an ox with a donkey. Being unequally yoked like this does harm to both animals. Paul gives five ...

Love from a husband does not always need to end up in sex. If a wife is not up to it at a particular time, she may get suspicious any time her husband becomes affectionate. She may even become cynical about expressions of love. A wise husband needs to learn many ways to express love to his wife besides sex. Learn all kinds of giving ways to show love that go beyond saying, “I love you,” and giving her flowers and hugs and kisses (although those are very good ways to start, and you should certainly be doing all these things). Think of things you don’t do that you should start doing. I have learned over fifty years of marriage to pick up stuff that I didn’t pick up for years. My socks! Could be that. There were things around the house that I knew would get put away or taken care of by my wife, and I could ignore them and go on my merry way. She was healthy and had nothing else to do at home. She could do it! I don’t know why I ever even thought this way. Do you want to show love to y...

  Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1 Pet. 3:7 KJV)   Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. (1 Pet. 3:7 NIV) The word that the King James Version renders as “honor” is translated “respect” in the NIV. The key to the definition is in the context. “Husbands, in the same way… ” What way? 1 Peter 3:1 reads, “Wives, in the same way… ” What way? Look back at 1 Peter 2: “Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. But how is it to you...

When I got married, it never occurred to me that I didn’t love my wife as Christ loved the church. At the time, I was a naval officer, and I was in the Korean War. My first ship struck an underwater mine, and my second ship was hit by gunfire. I was willing to die for my country, or I wouldn’t have been there. I was also willing to die for my wife—and I assumed that meant I was obeying the command to love her as Christ loved the church. I figured Bessie had the harder job; she had to submit. It was easy for me to love Bessie, but hard for her to submit to me: she had been a Christian for sixteen years, I had been a Christian for only three; she was a Bible school graduate, I was a Naval Academy graduate; when we met, she was the principal of a Bible school in Yokohama, and I was a naval officer; and she was eight and a half years older than I was. After we were married, we came to the States for a while, and then I was sent to sea again. Our first two children were born in Californ...

Loving the Unlovely “If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?” (Matt. 5:43-47). There is nothing particularly Christian about loving lovely people. To explain this, Jesus chose a class of people despised by the Jews ¾ tax collectors ¾ and said, “Even they love like that.” God created everyone, including the worst criminals, with this kind of friendship love. Only Christians can love the unlovely. This is how you show your Christianity. If you have only loved lovely people, you are being disobedient. Although this kind of love is central to Christian behavior, it only comes through obedience. Scriptural love is always volitional. You have to choose to do it. Do not wait to fall in love with your enemy. It will never happen. I became a Christian during my second year at the Naval Academy . Suddenly, I loved my roommate,...

Christlike Love   “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them” (Luke 6:32). Many Christians love those who love them and think that they are showing the love of Christ by doing that. However, that kind of love is part of human nature; it is common to everyone. There is a love that only Christians have. It comes from the Lord. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8). Jesus’ love for us had nothing to do with our love or our loveliness. It had to do with His loving nature and our need. When we share this kind of love with others, it cannot be based on their love or loveliness. Love is Patient “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (Eph. 5:1-2). To live a life of love, you must know what love is and how Jesus ex...

Love Deeply “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Pet. 4:8).    Love does not overlook sin. Love sees sin, then covers it—in this case, covers lots of it. We know that God’s love is like this, but is ours? The command is directed towards us.   “You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea” (Micah 7:19). Deep love provides deep cover. Deep love keeps no record of wrongs (1 Cor. 13:5). It forgives others, regardless of the magnitude or quantity of sins. It banishes sins for good. It does not remember them so that it can bring them up later. However, we are not to cover our own sins: “ He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy” (Prov. 28:13). Discerning Love “We know that ‘We all possess knowledge.’ But knowledge puffs up while love builds up. Those who think they know somet...

God tells husbands to love their wives. How are we to do that, and what does that love look like? Love Her as Your Neighbor “Jesus replied: ‘“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: “Love your neighbor as yourself”’” (Matt. 22:37-39). “Yourself” is someone you already greatly love, and therefore is a good standard for how to love someone else. For a start, calculate how much time you spend thinking about yourself on an average day. Second, list all the things you do for yourself, including bathing, eating, sleeping, and studying. Third, admit that these things are expressions of love for yourself. Fourth, admit that you do not love your neighbor (even your best friend) this much. Fifth, admit that that is a violation of God’s command and needs His forgiveness. Turn to Him for forgiveness. This will not make you loving, but it will make you clean . From that posi...

One of the good things I learned as an officer in the U.S. Navy was that authority and responsibility must go together in equal proportions. A person with authority but no responsibility will exercise that authority arbitrarily. He will order people around with no objective other than establishing his own power. Conversely, a person with responsibility for a task but no authority to help him accomplish it will only be frustrated. Before I apply this concept to Christian husbands, I want to discuss and hopefully dissolve a common misconception. Because the Scripture tells wives, children, and servants to obey, some Christians have inferred that it is the job of husbands, fathers, and masters to command . This is an inference only and is, therefore, invalid. The Bible contains no direct teaching nor implication that husbands, fathers, and masters are to be commanders. The Bible does not teach a chain of command. It teaches a chain of obedience and submission . The Bible teaches that s...