Skip to main content

Love


There is, in this world, very much erotic love. Some of it is in the will of God but the overwhelming majority of it is in sin, contrary to the moral law of God. However, we think if it feels good, it must be good.

There is, also in the world, very much friendship love. It is also pleasant so we think it is also good. However, in II Timothy 3 it is speaking of friendship of money and themselves. This is a very evil love.

These first two types of love occur in marriage. They also occur in Christian marriage. Because our Christian wife is our best friend and because of our erotic attraction to her, we think our love for her is Christian love. It is not. It is two forms of humanistic love. These two types of love happen but they are not Christian love.

What is the difference?

Love is patient. If I am not patient, I am not loving. Regardless how much I insist that I love my wife if I am impatient with her I am not loving her.

Love is kind. If I am ever unkind to my wife I do not love my wife in a Christian sense.

Love is not rude. If I am rude to my wife, I do not love my wife.

Love is not easily angered. If I get easily angry with my wife I do not love my wife.

Love keeps no record of wrongs.

I am writing this today because of my knowledge of many Christian husbands who do not love their wives. Let’s go to Ephesians 5:

Do you love your wife as Christ loved the Church? Christ loved the Church to present her to himself as a radiant church. Christ loved the Church to make her lovely, not because the Church was lovely.

If you think your wife is not lovely, it is because she is not loved by you. Your love for her is the cause of her loveliness.

“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” (I Peter 3:7)

Because your wife is the weaker vessel she is to be treated with respect and consideration. If not, your prayers will be hindered.

Isn’t a Christian wife supposed to be submissive to her husband? Yes, but that is not your business. Your responsibility is to love her, not because she is lovely, but because she is your wife.

“I don’t love her anymore.” That is not an option. You are to love her as Christ loved the Church. If you do not love her, you are in great sin.


“I am committed to my wife.” “I do not believe in divorce.” These two statements are not virtuous statements. They are substitutes for loving your wife.

You may not wish to come to the conclusion that you do not love your wife. Unless you come to that conviction you will not confess your sin; you will not be forgiven and you will love her less and less.

Have I ever been impatient with my wife and children? Yes! It was inexcusable sin on my part every time. I confessed that I did not love Bessie and I was restored. If I confess to my wife that I do not love her she will be hurt. True! She already knows that you do not love her, except in a selfish way. If your admission of sin is to God in repentance, you will be restored to love.

“I do not want to do that. If I keep my impatience with her it keeps her under control.” Perhaps, but her love, joy, and peace is more important than you being in charge.

A wife needs several things provided by her husband:

1. Security
2. Love
3. Provision
4. Protection
5. Leading

The first two are far more important than the last two. A woman needs love far more than she needs provision. To provide for your wife well and not love her makes little or no sense. Provision is not love.

“Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife” (Proverbs 17:1).

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Getting Old

This is a post for those who are getting old or considering themselves old, from 65-100. Right now, I am 91.* I will be 92 in October. I have my own house, but I cannot live in it alone because of my physical inability to move around. One of my sons lives with me. All of us will have to make some adjustments. That includes money, relatives, your own ability and willpower to stay independent, etc. My advice is if physically and financially you can live independently, you should certainly do that. If you do, you will still need to have visits from your family frequently. You need your family. Even if you don’t need them to take care of you, you need them for the fellowship. The more fellowship you have, the longer you’ll live. If you can stay independent do it, but only if friends and relatives can see you often. In my case, I can’t walk, and I can’t do much physically. So, whether I like it or not, someone else has to get me up, get me showered, and get me dressed. I am blessed to have
Post a Comment
Read more

Why Is Obedience So Hard?

There are several reasons why obedience seems hard. I will comment on some of them and then speak positively on how obedience is easy. We think: 1) Obedience is an infringement on freedom. Since we are free in Christ, and obedience is somehow contrary to that freedom, we conclude that obedience is not good. Yet we know it is good. Thus, we become confused about obedience and are not single-minded. 2) Obedience is works. We who have been justified by grace through faith are opposed to works; therefore, we are opposed to obedience. 3) We have tried to obey and have failed—frequently. Therefore, the only solution is to disobey and later confess to receive forgiveness. It is easier to be forgiven by grace than to obey by effort. 4) We confuse obedience to men with obedience to God. Although these are sometimes one and the same (see Romans 13, 1 Peter 2-3, Ephesians 5-6, Colossians 3, and Titus 2), sometimes they are not the same (see Colossians 2:20-23, Mark 7, 1 Timothy 4:1-5, a
5 comments
Read more

Three Types of People Christians Aren't Loving

There are three types of people in the world that Christians do not love with the Gospel . The first type are the people we witness to but do not love. The second type are the unbelievers that we do not witness to. The third are people we love but do not witness to. That sounds like doubletalk. Let’s change it. 1) We witness to people we love. 2) We love everybody and witness to them with love. As Christians, we have the fruit of the Spirit—love. We are commanded to love our neighbors and our enemies. The first thing is to have the love. The second is to choose to love our neighbors and enemies. Sometimes we can’t make the choice because we have lost the fruit of the Spirit, love. We lack the fruit of the Spirit of love because we are under the chastening of the Lord because of unconfessed sin. In order to get the love back, we must confess sin. Once we get the love back, we can choose to love our neighbors and enemies and preach the gospel to them.   Written December 22,
Post a Comment
Read more