Skip to main content

Love


There is, in this world, very much erotic love. Some of it is in the will of God but the overwhelming majority of it is in sin, contrary to the moral law of God. However, we think if it feels good, it must be good.

There is, also in the world, very much friendship love. It is also pleasant so we think it is also good. However, in II Timothy 3 it is speaking of friendship of money and themselves. This is a very evil love.

These first two types of love occur in marriage. They also occur in Christian marriage. Because our Christian wife is our best friend and because of our erotic attraction to her, we think our love for her is Christian love. It is not. It is two forms of humanistic love. These two types of love happen but they are not Christian love.

What is the difference?

Love is patient. If I am not patient, I am not loving. Regardless how much I insist that I love my wife if I am impatient with her I am not loving her.

Love is kind. If I am ever unkind to my wife I do not love my wife in a Christian sense.

Love is not rude. If I am rude to my wife, I do not love my wife.

Love is not easily angered. If I get easily angry with my wife I do not love my wife.

Love keeps no record of wrongs.

I am writing this today because of my knowledge of many Christian husbands who do not love their wives. Let’s go to Ephesians 5:

Do you love your wife as Christ loved the Church? Christ loved the Church to present her to himself as a radiant church. Christ loved the Church to make her lovely, not because the Church was lovely.

If you think your wife is not lovely, it is because she is not loved by you. Your love for her is the cause of her loveliness.

“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” (I Peter 3:7)

Because your wife is the weaker vessel she is to be treated with respect and consideration. If not, your prayers will be hindered.

Isn’t a Christian wife supposed to be submissive to her husband? Yes, but that is not your business. Your responsibility is to love her, not because she is lovely, but because she is your wife.

“I don’t love her anymore.” That is not an option. You are to love her as Christ loved the Church. If you do not love her, you are in great sin.


“I am committed to my wife.” “I do not believe in divorce.” These two statements are not virtuous statements. They are substitutes for loving your wife.

You may not wish to come to the conclusion that you do not love your wife. Unless you come to that conviction you will not confess your sin; you will not be forgiven and you will love her less and less.

Have I ever been impatient with my wife and children? Yes! It was inexcusable sin on my part every time. I confessed that I did not love Bessie and I was restored. If I confess to my wife that I do not love her she will be hurt. True! She already knows that you do not love her, except in a selfish way. If your admission of sin is to God in repentance, you will be restored to love.

“I do not want to do that. If I keep my impatience with her it keeps her under control.” Perhaps, but her love, joy, and peace is more important than you being in charge.

A wife needs several things provided by her husband:

1. Security
2. Love
3. Provision
4. Protection
5. Leading

The first two are far more important than the last two. A woman needs love far more than she needs provision. To provide for your wife well and not love her makes little or no sense. Provision is not love.

“Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife” (Proverbs 17:1).

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why Is Obedience So Hard?

There are several reasons why obedience seems hard. I will comment on some of them and then speak positively on how obedience is easy. We think: 1) Obedience is an infringement on freedom. Since we are free in Christ, and obedience is somehow contrary to that freedom, we conclude that obedience is not good. Yet we know it is good. Thus, we become confused about obedience and are not single-minded. 2) Obedience is works. We who have been justified by grace through faith are opposed to works; therefore, we are opposed to obedience. 3) We have tried to obey and have failed—frequently. Therefore, the only solution is to disobey and later confess to receive forgiveness. It is easier to be forgiven by grace than to obey by effort. 4) We confuse obedience to men with obedience to God. Although these are sometimes one and the same (see Romans 13, 1 Peter 2-3, Ephesians 5-6, Colossians 3, and Titus 2), sometimes they are not the same (see Colossians 2:20-23, Mark 7, 1 Timothy 4:1-5, a...
6 comments
Read more

Ripe for Harvest: Prepared to Give an Answer

As you read through the book of Acts, look at every conversion, and see what happened right before it: what was said, who said it. The situations are the same today.     A long time ago, my duty in the Officer’s Christian Fellowship was the east coast of the United States. I went to an officer’s office at Fort Lee, VA, and stayed overnight, then I went on to Norfolk and Fort Bragg.    Forty years later, I was no longer on the staff of OCF, but I had to go to Denver. While I was in Denver, I checked in at the OCF offices. There was the same Air Force officer I had met in Fort Lee, retired now, a colonel. I had stayed in his house when he was a first lieutenant. He asked me, “Do you know what happened when you stayed overnight?” I said, “No, I just remember staying in your home.” He said, “You led the next-door neighbor to Christ.” I had no memory of it.    Ten years after that, I was speaking at a banquet at the Hotel Salisbury, and who was th...
Post a Comment
Read more

Lifted Up

In the first thirteen verses of John 3, Nicodemus did not understand what Jesus was talking about. It was nonsense to him. When Jesus said verse fourteen to him, Nicodemus finally understood Jesus. Here it is: “Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up…” (John 3:14). The reason it made sense to Nicodemus was because he knew of the event that Jesus spoke of. People who had been bitten by a serpent could look at the bronze snake and did not die. Nicodemus knew the Bible story.   Here it is: “Then the LORD sent venomous snakes among them; they bit the people and many Israelites died. The people came to Moses and said, ‘We sinned when we spoke against the LORD and against you. Pray that the LORD will take the snakes away from us.’ So Moses prayed for the people. The LORD said to Moses, ‘Make a snake and put it up on a pole; anyone who is bitten can look at it and live.’ So Moses made a bronze snake and put it up on a pole. Then ...
Post a Comment
Read more