Jim Wilson is the retired director of Community Christian Ministries in Moscow, Idaho. He will be posting regularly, so check back in soon!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Feedback on "How to Be Free From Bitterness"

Anonymous’ letter on How to Be Free From Bitterness:

Interesting article on the riddance of bitterness. Let me ask you this, what does the bible say about parenting? What are the obligations of parents? Yes, they should provide a loving and Christian home, but what after that?

Maybe the bitterness so many kids feel is unwarranted, biblically speaking. From what I can find, I see nothing where the bible commands fathers/mothers to send their children to college, be constantly active and involved in their children’s’ lives (schoolwork, soccer practice, building their self esteem, say “I love you”, hug you, compliment you, teach you non-biblical things, worldly guidance, etc, etc)

I ask this because I’ve been pretty bitter myself. But then I thought, “what does the bible require of my parents? It seems that the ONLY requirements of parents is to love their children and bring them up in the ways of the lord. That also means to provide a home, love and food for them. Beyond that, they’re not required to do any of the above I mentioned. That is what society has pressured them to feel they have to do.

Maybe if we only look at what the bible requires of parents, we won’t be so disappointed.

Am I wrong in thinking parents only owe their kids a Christian home and that’s it? If you can show me examples where God requires them to do anything more, please, let me know!

Jim Wilson’s response:

I am the author of the book on Bitterness. Thank you for your letter. I am not sure whether your question was from you as a parent or from you as a son.

Here goes. Parents are to be all of the things you said, but those things are not limited like a dozen eggs nor are they to be counted by how many soccer games they went to. Some parents may go to all of the events and the kids don’t think their parents love them. Some parents may not go to any of the events and the kids are very secure in their parent’s love.

There is a more complete reading on another site. Look up ccmbooks.org, click “readings” and then click How to Be Free From Bitterness. Read all of the articles but dwell on Relationships with Parents and Saturation Love. It is very likely that your parents love you very much but did not express it to you adequately. You must confess your bitterness until it is gone, regardless how wrong or inadequate they were as parents. You do not need to defend them but you must not accuse them. Your bitterness is your sin. They are not the cause.

Unless you get rid of your bitterness you will repeat the cycle with your children.

If you would like a hard copy of How to Be Free From Bitterness, please send me your mailing address.

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