God tells us why we are to forgive others, and He tells us how to forgive them:
“Be kind and compassionate to
one another, forgiving each other, just as in
Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13).
These are commands, and they are unconditional. God forgave us in Christ, and He expects us to do the same for those who sin against us. He expects the forgiven to forgive.
Here is what Jesus told Peter when he asked Him how many times he should forgive his brother:
“I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. The servant fell on his knees before him. “Be patient with me,” he begged, “and I will pay back everything.” The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. “Pay back what you owe me!” he demanded. His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, “Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.” But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. Then the master called the servant in. “You wicked servant,” he said, “I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart” (Matthew 18:22b-35).
Why did Jesus tell Peter to forgive an infinite number of times? Love does not keep a record of wrongs. Jesus does not want us to keep count. If you forgive your brother from the heart, the next time he sins, it will seem like the first time. Heart forgiveness is complete forgiveness.
“The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45).
“Make a tree good and its fruit will be
good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by
its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For
out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good
things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things
out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give
account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by
your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned”
(Matthew 12:33-37).
“Nothing outside a man can make him ‘unclean’ by going into him. Rather, it is what comes out of a man that makes him ‘unclean’” (Mark 7:15).
We do out of what we are. We should concentrate on our being, not just on our doing. God is love, and “For God so loved the world that He gave” (John 3:16). God acts out of who He is.
We respond to extreme commands like “love your enemies” by making exceptions or bringing the commands down to our size so we can think we are obeying them. However, if we do not qualify the command, we often wind up trying to love our enemies without having our hearts filled with love first. We “forgive,” but not from our hearts.
Forgiveness has to be from the heart. That is the only kind there is. Otherwise the word
is meaningless.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is
love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and
self-control. Against such things there is no law” (Galatians 5:22-23).
“[Love] is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5).
Forgiveness means no longer being angry, bitter, or begrudging. When we forgive, the joy of our salvation is restored.
God is the only
one who can forgive sins so that the sinner is cleansed. When I forgive someone
else, it only cleanses me. If I
withhold forgiveness, I end up hurting myself.
“Forgive
us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors…For if you forgive men when
they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do
not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew
6:12, 15).
God’s forgiveness is conditional on my forgiving those who have sinned against me. Not forgiving is sin. If I refuse to forgive, I am in big trouble.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving
each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Be imitators of God, therefore,
as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and
gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (Ephesians
4:32-5:2).
We are to forgive as Christ forgave us, and Jesus says that God will forgive if we forgive. These two things are only contradictory if we are being disobedient. If I forgive as Christ forgave, I can honestly pray Matthew 6:12: “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” Forgive me as I forgive because I forgive like You forgave me.
God forgave us from the Cross. The sinner does not receive God’s forgiveness until he repents.
“He told
them, ‘This is what is written: The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead
on the third day, and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in
his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem’” (Luke 24:46-47).
“I will
rescue you from your own people and from the Gentiles. I am sending you to them
to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of
Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among
those who are sanctified by faith in me” (Acts 26:17-18).
However, God’s forgiveness is there before our repentance. In fact, it is a major cause of repentance.
“Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance, and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you toward repentance?” (Romans 2:4).
Forgiveness and a “place among the sanctified” are the results of turning from the power of Satan to God. That turning is the result of the kindness and preaching of Christ (Romans 10:17).
“Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12).
This is part of the Lord’s Prayer. If you pray this prayer from the heart, you may be in big trouble. You are asking God to forgive you just like you have forgiven others. You are saying, “God, I am the prototype of forgiveness. Would You please copy me?” Do you want to be forgiven that way? But you should want to.
“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins” (Mark 11:25).
The person who does not forgive from his heart is in bigger trouble with God than the person who sinned against him. If we do not forgive someone, or if we do not want God, the church, or the public to forgive him, we are saying we want him to be destroyed. That may happen. Or it may be that God will forgive him, the church will forgive him, and he will be back in the joy of his salvation. Then we are the ones who end up destroyed.
Forgiveness is contrary to the world’s justice system. In the world, grace is seldom given, never understood, and often mistaken for injustice. A few years ago in Seattle, a murderer was sentenced to die for his crime. During his time in prison, he had heard the gospel and received Christ. On the day of his execution, three conflicting events happened, each recorded on TV.
1. An anti-death penalty group was holding a
protest outside the prison.
2. A pro-death group was demonstrating
outside the prison. They wanted him dead and in hell.
3. The murderer announced his conversion to Christ and his anticipation of going to heaven. This made no sense to either group and angered both.
Forgiving gets forgiveness. Refusing to forgive prevents you from receiving forgiveness from God. If you have not genuinely forgiven someone who sinned against you yesterday or ten years ago, you must repent today and stay on your knees until you are forgiven for your unforgiveness.
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