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Differences Between Men & Women, Part 4: Sexuality


Women are much more sexual than men. For men, sexuality is reduced to sex itself. The feminine conception of sex is the big picture, past when the kid graduates from college. The male conception is not the big picture at all. Civilization depends on the men submitting their sexual cycle to the woman’s. If women submitted their sexuality to the men’s, we would have a world full of nothing but pirates and biker gangs. Men must submit to their wives in this respect if there is to be any kind of stability at all. It is only when men submit this way that the family becomes possible. If the man removes himself, you no longer have a family the way God designed.

Men who sleep around have a problem controlling their sexual desires. Women who are promiscuous are not in it for the sex; they are in it for the security, and they are using the only commodity they have that can get men to pay attention. Promiscuous women are lonely, frightened women. Promiscuous men have trouble with self-control. The problems are utterly different.          

Men are also attracted differently than women are. Picture a grocery store magazine aisle: on the racks are cooking magazines, homemaking magazines, quilting magazines, gun magazines, motorcycle magazines, and automobile magazines. The men’s magazines are filled with pictures of women—not only the magazines like Playboy, but also the motorcycle, gun, and automobile magazines. The women’s magazines are also filled with pictures of women. The men’s magazines are filled with attractive women, and the women’s magazines are filled with articles telling them how to become attractive.       

My point is this: nobody likes to look at a man. Women are not attracted by sight like men are. Men don’t seem to realize this. They think the woman is turned on by looking at him like he is to her. Forget it! Have you ever seen a married couple where the woman is tall, stately, and beautiful, and the man is short and dumpy and bald? How did that ever happen? He was attracted by her appearance, and she was attracted to his kindness, his love, and his attention.        

You need to understand how your spouse operates, or you will misunderstand their temptations. For men, the foremost factor in the sexual relationship is physical. For women, the foremost thing is emotional attachment and/or security. He is seduced physically first, then emotionally; she is seduced emotionally first, then physically. Men have to exercise physical self-control. With women, it’s an issue of emotional security. Protect your sons by teaching them self-control. Protect your daughters by giving them lots of security and affection and a good relationship with you. Then when some guy offers them pseudo-security in exchange for a physical relationship, they will not be tempted to fall for it.

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